Who could possibly have guessed that the only thing the Tories remembered about Kids’ Company was that they make the kids wear a uniform?

It is to laugh, especially if you’ve seen this one before.

Right-wing education ministers do love a hero headteacher from the inner city, as long as their school includes the standard symbols of Traditional Discipline. They will come down to the school and be photographed with the charming kids. They may even invite you to their party conference, or indeed to 10 Downing Street. A real cynic might suggest that this is especially likely if you’re, ah, multicultural and the party in question is, ah, a wee bit pasty, and even more so if you’re willing to be a bit controversial, like, but of course only in one direction.

And then, six months down-range, what turns up in the white paper? A bunch of tiresome old guff about house points and competitive sport, and perhaps a massive budget cut, with some administratively impossible pet wheezes thrown in.

Fortunately there’s the Ecudation Grauniad’s shoulder to cry on. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. And remember kids: don’t take flattery from strange politicians.